Saying Goodbye with Flowers
When words aren’t enough, flowers can speak volumes. They’ve long served as a visual language, especially when expressing sympathy during times of loss. Flowers offer comfort and express condolences in ways that words sometimes can’t. Understanding the symbolism of flowers can help you choose an appropriate expression of sympathy to send to loved ones.
This guide explores the significance of flowers in expressing sympathy, examining traditional meanings, cultural variations, and practical considerations for selecting the right flowers to send. We’ll give you the information you need to offer solace through floral arrangements.
The goal is to provide a deeper understanding of how to thoughtfully use flowers to honor the deceased and support those who are grieving.
The symbolic language of flowers: a guide to traditional meanings
Flowers can convey so much more than words, especially when you’re trying to express sympathy or respect. Here’s a guide to the traditional meanings of some common flowers:
Flowers of Remembrance and Respect
- Lilies: Lilies are often used at funerals to symbolize innocence restored. They’re also thought to represent the soul leaving the body. White lilies, especially, represent purity and peace.
- Roses: White and light pink roses represent love, respect, and remembrance. The deeper the color, the more specific the message. For example, a deep red rose stands for enduring love, while a pink rose represents grace and gentility.
- Carnations: Carnations symbolize remembrance. Red carnations stand for affection, while white carnations are a symbol of innocence and pure love.
Flowers of Comfort and Hope
- Chrysanthemums: These are a common choice to symbolize grief, mourning, and remembrance. In some cultures, white chrysanthemums are specifically used for funerals.
- Hydrangeas: These lush blooms symbolize heartfelt emotions and understanding. They offer a sense of abundance and comfort.
- Orchids Represent enduring love and sympathy, serving as a long-lasting reminder of your care. They’re an elegant and sophisticated choice.
Beyond tradition: Personalizing floral tributes
While certain flowers are associated with mourning, you can move beyond tradition to create a more personal tribute to the deceased. Think about the person’s favorite flowers or colors. Using flowers that reflect their personality can be a meaningful gesture.
You can also incorporate flowers that remind you of positive times you shared with the deceased. For example, if your grandmother loved to garden, you might choose hydrangeas in her memory.
When selecting flowers, think about the overall aesthetic of the service and the deceased’s personal style. Select colors, textures, and arrangement styles that create a cohesive and meaningful tribute that truly honors their life and memory.
Flowers in funeral rites: Cultural variations and considerations
Across the world, different cultures have their own customs and traditions around funerals and funeral flowers. It’s important to be aware of these differences so you don’t inadvertently offend anyone or send the wrong message.
Some cultures have specific flowers that are traditionally associated with mourning, while others may consider certain flowers inappropriate.
For example, in Japan, white and yellow chrysanthemums and lilies are common at funerals. In Hawaii, people offer floral wreaths called “lei” as a sign of love and respect.
Cultural Sensitivity
If you’re sending flowers to a funeral, it’s a good idea to learn something about the culture of the person who died and their family. If you’re not sure what to do, you can always consult with a florist who knows about different cultural traditions.
Color symbolism is another thing to keep in mind because colors can mean different things in different cultures.
When in doubt, it’s often best to choose simple, respectful arrangements that are generally accepted everywhere.
Practical considerations: Choosing and sending sympathy flowers
Choosing an appropriate sympathy arrangement and getting it where it needs to be at the right time can feel tricky when you’re already dealing with the sadness of someone’s passing.
Selecting the right arrangement
The size and style of the arrangement should be appropriate for its setting and for the family’s taste. A smaller arrangement might be perfect for a home, while a larger display would be better suited to a funeral or memorial service.
It’s always a good idea to choose flowers that are fresh and long-lasting, so they can offer comfort for as long as possible.
Take a look at the overall design of the arrangement, and make sure it’s well-crafted and pleasing to the eye.
Etiquette and delivery
Send sympathy flowers as soon as you can after you learn about the loss.
Be sure to include a heartfelt note expressing your sympathy and offering your support.
Make absolutely sure the flowers are delivered to the right address and at a time that works for the family. The best way to avoid any problems is to coordinate the delivery with the family or the funeral home.
PRESERVING MEMORIES: FLORAL ALTARS AND DRIED FLOWERS
Flowers can be more than just a beautiful gesture; they can be a way to actively remember and honor someone who has died. Here are a couple of ways you can use flowers to preserve those memories.
Creating a Floral Altar
You can create a memorial altar or remembrance space for someone you’ve lost. This altar can include photos, mementos, and either fresh flowers or dried flowers.
Think about including items that reflect the person’s hobbies, interests, or personality. For example, if they loved to read, you might include a favorite book. If they enjoyed gardening, you could add a trowel or a packet of seeds.
You can refresh the altar regularly with fresh flowers, or rearrange the items on display to keep the space feeling vibrant and meaningful.
Drying Flowers as Keepsakes
Consider drying some of the flowers from the funeral or memorial service to keep them as lasting reminders of the person who died and the love and support offered during a difficult time.
You can display dried flowers in vases, use them in craft projects, or add them to other memorial items.
If you dry the flowers properly, they should retain their color and shape for months or even years.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the flower for grief?
There isn’t one single “flower for grief,” but several flowers are commonly associated with mourning and sympathy. Lilies are a popular choice, symbolizing the soul’s return to innocence. Chrysanthemums (especially white ones) are often used in funeral arrangements, representing grief and remembrance. Roses, particularly white or pale pink, can also express sympathy.
What is the flower for the lost?
Again, no single flower perfectly embodies “the lost,” but forget-me-nots are a strong contender. Their name speaks to remembrance and not forgetting those who are gone. Blue hyacinths also symbolize deep regret and can be a fitting tribute. Consider the personal preferences of the deceased or their family when choosing a flower to honor their memory.
What flower symbolizes sorrow?
Pansies are often associated with sorrow and remembrance, their name derived from the French word “pensée,” meaning thought. Weeping willow branches, though not flowers, also universally symbolize grief and mourning. Darker colored flowers, like deep red roses or purple hyacinths, can also convey feelings of sadness and loss.
What flower symbolizes lost?
The context of “lost” matters. If referring to a lost loved one, see the flowers mentioned above. If referring to a lost opportunity or a sense of being lost, consider yellow tulips (symbolizing hopeless love) or marigolds (representing grief and despair). Ultimately, the best flower is one that resonates with the specific situation and the emotions you wish to express.
Putting It All Together
When words fail us, flowers can provide a powerful way to express sympathy and support to someone who is grieving. Understanding what different flowers symbolize can help you choose an arrangement that is thoughtful and personalized.
Keep in mind that the meaning of a flower can vary by culture, and there are practical aspects to consider when giving flowers at a funeral or memorial service. But whether you opt for a traditional arrangement, a personalized tribute, or a memorial display, flowers offer a tangible expression of love, remembrance, and hope when they are needed most.