Surrogacy is becoming an increasingly popular way for people to grow their families. For people struggling with infertility, same-sex couples, or those with medical conditions that make pregnancy dangerous, surrogacy can be a life-changing option.
Finding the right surrogate is a huge step in the process. It’s a decision that requires careful thought and research. You need to consider what qualities you’re looking for in a surrogate, what your budget is, and what legal requirements you need to meet.
This article provides a guide to finding surrogates, whether you’re looking for someone local or open to a national search. We’ll explore the different options available and the factors you should consider when choosing a surrogate. We’ll explore how to find surrogates near me and what to keep in mind.
Understanding the Landscape of Surrogacy
If you’re looking into surrogacy, it helps to understand some of the terminology and the different ways surrogacy arrangements are made.
Defining Key Terms
- Intended Parents: The person or people who want to have a child through surrogacy.
- Surrogate (or Gestational Carrier): The woman who carries and delivers the baby for the intended parents. In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate has no genetic link to the child.
- Traditional Surrogacy: In this less common form of surrogacy, the surrogate is also the egg donor. That means she is the biological mother of the child.
Types of Surrogacy Arrangements
There are two primary ways to arrange a surrogacy.
- Agency-Assisted Surrogacy: In this arrangement, a surrogacy agency takes care of the matching, screening, and coordination.
- Independent Surrogacy (or Identified Surrogacy): In this arrangement, the intended parents find a surrogate on their own, without using an agency.
Where to Find Surrogate Mothers: 5 Options for Matching
If you’re ready to find a surrogate mother, there are several avenues you can explore. Each has its own benefits and drawbacks, so it’s important to consider your needs and preferences carefully.
Surrogacy Agencies and Matching Professionals
Surrogacy agencies are designed to make the process smoother. They screen potential surrogates, handle the administrative details, and offer support throughout the journey. Many agencies maintain databases of pre-screened surrogates, which can save you a significant amount of time and effort.
Agencies vary in the level of service they provide, ranging from simply matching you with a surrogate to offering full-service case management. When choosing an agency, be sure to consider their experience, success rates, and fees.
Surrogacy Clinics
Some fertility clinics also offer surrogacy matching services, although their level of involvement may vary. Clinics can provide medical screening and monitoring for both the surrogate and the intended parents. This can be a particularly good option if you’re already working with a fertility clinic for IVF.
Surrogacy Attorneys
Surrogacy attorneys are essential for providing legal guidance and ensuring that all the necessary legal documents are in place. While attorneys may not actively participate in the matching process, they can often refer you to reputable agencies or other helpful resources.
Networking with Family and Friends
Finding a surrogate through your personal network of family and friends is a possibility, but it requires careful thought about the potential emotional and social complexities. It’s crucial to clearly define expectations and boundaries from the very beginning to avoid any misunderstandings down the road.
Online Support Groups and Classifieds
Online platforms can provide a way for intended parents and surrogates to connect independently. However, this approach places more responsibility on the intended parents to conduct thorough screening and background checks. Exercise caution and due diligence when using online resources to find a surrogate, and be sure to consult with legal and medical professionals along the way.
Nationwide Surrogacy: Expanding Your Search
Surrogacy services are available across the country. This means you don’t have to limit your search to your immediate area. Searching nationwide can help you find a surrogate who is a good fit for you.
Many agencies use online applications and databases to connect surrogates and parents-to-be across state lines.
While working with a surrogate from another state may mean you need to pay for travel, it doesn’t necessarily increase the total cost of surrogacy. For example, surrogates in high-demand areas may charge more than surrogates in other parts of the country. If you work with an agency, they will likely include travel costs in their estimates.
It’s a good idea to talk about travel logistics and related expenses with the agency or your surrogate early in the process.
Key considerations when choosing a surrogate
Selecting a surrogate is a deeply personal decision, and it’s important to consider a number of factors before moving forward. Here are a few key areas to focus on:
Screening and background checks
Any potential surrogate should undergo thorough screening, including medical and psychological evaluations. You’ll also want to conduct background checks to make sure the person you’re considering is a good fit for your family.
Compatibility and shared goals
It’s important that you and your surrogate are on the same page about your goals and preferences for the pregnancy and delivery. Talk about your expectations for communication, contact after the birth, and any other factors that are important to you.
Legal agreements
Work with an experienced surrogacy attorney to draft a comprehensive agreement that clearly outlines the rights and responsibilities of everyone involved. This is an important step in protecting your interests and ensuring a smooth process.
Support systems
Make sure that both you and your surrogate have adequate support systems in place. Surrogacy agencies often provide counseling and support services throughout the process, which can be invaluable in navigating the emotional and practical challenges of surrogacy.
How can surrogacy agencies help?
Surrogacy agencies are there to guide both intended parents and surrogates through every step of the surrogacy journey. They provide services like:
- Matching intended parents with surrogates
- Screening surrogates
- Legal assistance
- Counseling and emotional support
- Case management
Many agencies employ licensed clinical social workers (LCSWs) to provide specialized support to surrogates.
Some agencies also specialize in helping LGBTQ+ couples grow their families through surrogacy.
When choosing an agency, consider its reputation, experience, and the range of services it offers.
How much does surrogacy cost?
Surrogacy costs vary depending on the agency you work with, the surrogate’s compensation, and other factors. It’s important to understand all the costs involved so you aren’t surprised.
These costs include:
- Agency fees
- Surrogate compensation
- Medical expenses
- Legal fees
- Insurance
Ask about payment schedules and any available financing.
You may also want to be cautious about working with agencies that charge waiting list fees. You shouldn’t have to pay anything until you’ve been matched with a surrogate and signed a retainer agreement.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do normal people afford surrogacy?
Let’s be real, surrogacy is a significant financial undertaking. Many intended parents rely on a combination of savings, loans (personal, home equity), and financial assistance programs. Some also explore crowdfunding or seek support from family. It’s a big decision, and careful financial planning is key.
How much does a surrogate cost in GA?
In Georgia, surrogacy costs can vary widely, but you’re generally looking at a range of $100,000 to $200,000 or more. This includes agency fees, the surrogate’s compensation, medical expenses, legal fees, and other associated costs. The exact amount depends on the specific arrangements and the surrogate’s individual circumstances.
Will insurance cover a surrogate?
Insurance coverage for surrogacy is tricky. Some policies might cover certain medical expenses related to the pregnancy, but typically, they won’t cover the surrogate’s compensation or agency fees. It’s crucial to carefully review your insurance policy and speak with your provider to understand what’s covered and what’s not. It’s also worth exploring the surrogate’s insurance options.
What disqualifies you from surrogacy?
Several factors can disqualify you from being a surrogate. Common disqualifiers include a history of certain medical conditions (like uncontrolled diabetes or heart disease), smoking, drug use, obesity, a history of complicated pregnancies or deliveries, mental health issues, and unstable living situations. Agencies and clinics have strict screening processes to ensure the safety and well-being of both the surrogate and the baby.
Summary
There are many ways to find a surrogate mother. You can ask around in your own community, search online databases, or work with a surrogacy agency. It’s important to weigh all the options and do your research before deciding which path to take.
Working with a reputable surrogacy agency has many benefits. Agencies provide comprehensive support and guidance to both intended parents and surrogates throughout the entire process, from matching to delivery. They also take care of coordinating medical screenings, psychological evaluations, and legal arrangements.
Legal agreements are essential for protecting the rights and interests of everyone involved. It’s also important for both intended parents and surrogates to have strong support systems in place.
If you’re considering surrogacy, it’s best to seek professional advice and support. A family lawyer and a qualified mental health professional can help you navigate the complex legal and emotional aspects of surrogacy and increase the odds of a positive experience.