Behind Closed Doors: How Narcissists Really Talk About Their Exes

Behind Closed Doors: How Narcissists Really Talk About Their Exes

In this article, we will delve into the secretive world of narcissists and how they talk about their exes behind closed doors. Narcissists are known for their manipulative and self-centered behavior, and their interactions with their former partners can offer valuable insights into their true nature. Join us as we uncover the hidden truths of how narcissists really discuss their exes when no one else is listening.

Understanding Narcissistic Behavior

Before we explore how narcissists talk about their exes, it is crucial to understand the psychology behind their behavior. Narcissists are individuals who have an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. They often manipulate and exploit those around them to fulfill their own desires, and this can be particularly evident in their relationships with their exes.

The Narcissist’s View of Themselves

Narcissists see themselves as superior beings who are entitled to special treatment and adoration. They have an intense desire to be admired and will go to great lengths to maintain this image, even if it means belittling or devaluing others, including their exes.

Lack of Empathy

One of the hallmark traits of narcissists is their lack of empathy towards others. They are unable to truly understand or care about the emotions and feelings of those around them, including their ex-partners. This lack of empathy can manifest in how they talk about their exes in private conversations.

Manipulative Behavior

Narcissists are skilled manipulators who use charm, flattery, and deception to get what they want. They may use their words to gaslight or manipulate their exes, painting themselves in a positive light while demonizing their former partners.

The Narcissist’s Disdain for Their Exes

Behind closed doors, narcissists may express contempt or disdain for their exes, portraying them as unworthy, incompetent, or even crazy. They may use derogatory language or insults to diminish their ex-partner’s self-worth and paint themselves as the victim of the relationship.

Blaming Others

Narcissists often refuse to take responsibility for their actions and instead shift the blame onto others, including their exes. They may portray themselves as the innocent party who was wronged in the relationship, while painting their ex-partner as the villain.

Minimizing Achievements

In private conversations, narcissists may downplay their ex-partner’s accomplishments or strengths, seeking to undermine their confidence and self-esteem. By diminishing their ex’s achievements, they aim to boost their own ego and assert their dominance.

Playing the Victim

Narcissists are adept at playing the victim and garnering sympathy from those around them. Behind closed doors, they may spin stories of how they were mistreated or taken advantage of by their exes, painting themselves as the poor, misunderstood victim in the relationship.


What motivates narcissists to talk negatively about their exes?

Narcissists often talk negatively about their exes to boost their own ego and maintain their sense of superiority. By portraying their exes in a negative light, they can elevate themselves and justify their actions in the relationship.

Do narcissists ever take responsibility for their actions in a relationship?

Narcissists are unlikely to take responsibility for their actions in a relationship, as they see themselves as faultless and superior beings. They are more likely to shift the blame onto others, including their exes.


In conclusion, narcissists may talk about their exes in a manipulative and demeaning manner behind closed doors. By understanding the psychology behind their behavior, we can gain insight into how they view and interact with their former partners. It is essential to recognize the toxic nature of narcissistic relationships and seek support if you or someone you know is involved with a narcissist.