Why Pray for Your Marriage?
Prayer is the bedrock of a strong, thriving marriage. It’s not a last-ditch effort when things get tough but should be your first line of defense. When you and your spouse pray regularly, both separately and together, you build a stronger bond with each other and with God.
All marriages face challenges; it’s a fact of life. But prayer offers guidance, strength, and healing when you’re navigating those complexities. Specific prayers can help with forgiveness, love, respect, unity, and all the other vital ingredients for a healthy relationship.
In this article, we’ll explore the power of praying for your marriage. We’ll give you practical advice, including specific prayer points and relevant biblical principles. We’ll also share insights on praying together as a couple and overcoming common obstacles that might get in the way.
Why pray for your marriage?
There are lots of good reasons to pray for your marriage, and most of them boil down to strengthening your spiritual connection and fostering unity and intimacy with your spouse.
Strengthening your spiritual connection
Prayer isn’t just about asking God for stuff. It’s a way of drawing closer to God, both on your own and as a couple. When you pray regularly, you’re inviting God into your relationship.
It’s also important to ask for God’s wisdom and direction in every part of your marriage. Prayer can be a way for God to accomplish his will, which may even mean intervening in your relationship. Trusting God to guide you and provide for you is really important.
Fostering unity and intimacy
Praying together can create a sense of unity and shared purpose in your marriage. It’s a way to strengthen the bonds between you and your spouse, as well as drawing you closer to God. It builds emotional intimacy and invites God to be a part of your relationship.
When you pray for your marriage, you’re promoting emotional intimacy. Being open and honest with each other during prayer can make you more vulnerable and build trust.
Praying for essential qualities in your spouse
Praying for your marriage can be a powerful way to nurture and strengthen your bond. It’s not about changing your spouse, but about inviting God’s grace and guidance into your relationship.
Praying for spiritual growth
The most important thing you can pray for is your spouse’s relationship with Christ. Pray that they would grow in their faith, that they’d understand God’s word more fully, and that they’d obey His commands. Ask that they be filled with the Holy Spirit.
If you’re a wife, pray that your husband will be a spiritual leader in your home. Ask for wisdom, discernment, and courage so that he can lead your family according to God’s principles. Pray that he’ll have a heart for your children and their spiritual development.
Praying for character and integrity
It’s important to pray that your spouse will resist temptation and remain faithful to your marriage vows. Pray for strength to overcome lust, greed, anger, and other temptations that could harm your marriage. Ask for purity of heart and mind.
Humility is another important quality to pray for. As Jesus said, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Pray that your spouse will have an open heart and mind, and that they’ll be receptive to wise counsel.
Praying for specific needs and challenges
Although it’s wonderful to offer general, all-purpose prayers for your marriage, praying for specific needs and challenges can bring you closer to your spouse and closer to God.
Praying for physical and mental well-being
It’s natural to be concerned about your spouse’s physical and mental health. When you pray for your spouse, ask for healing from illness, strength to deal with chronic conditions, and protection from accidents and injuries.
It’s also important to remember to pray for your spouse’s mental and emotional health, especially when times are tough. Ask God to grant your spouse peace, clarity, and emotional stability, and to help them manage anger and frustration in healthy ways.
Praying for success and provision
If your spouse works outside the home, you can pray for their success in their career or business. You can ask God to open doors of opportunity, grant them favor with colleagues and clients, and give them the wisdom to make good decisions.
Finances can be a major source of stress in any marriage. Pray for financial wisdom, so you and your spouse can be responsible stewards of the resources God has given you. Ask God to help you both trust in His provision, even when things are tight, and to honor Him with your finances.
Praying for restoration and healing
When a marriage is struggling, prayer can be a powerful way to seek restoration and healing. Here are some specific areas to focus on in your prayers:
Praying for forgiveness
Forgiveness is at the heart of a healthy marriage. When hurts and offenses occur, it’s essential to seek God’s help in extending forgiveness to your spouse. Pray for a forgiving heart, asking God to soften any bitterness or resentment that may be present.
Also, pray for reconciliation, asking God to bring healing to areas of hurt, conflict, or broken trust. Ask for humility and a willingness to forgive, and for a renewed desire to restore the relationship. As Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Praying for hope and renewal
Even in seemingly hopeless situations, God can bring beauty from ashes. Pray for God to restore hope and to breathe new life into your marriage. Believe that God can turn your ashes into beauty.
Pray that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead will also resurrect your marriage. Recognize God’s ability to bring about healing and restoration, even in the most difficult circumstances. With God, all things are possible.
Praying together as a couple: Practical steps
If you and your spouse are interested in starting or deepening a practice of praying together, here are some steps you can take.
Making time for prayer
It may seem difficult to find the time, but with a little planning, prayer can become an integral part of your shared life.
- Schedule a specific time for prayer. Talk about how important it is to set aside time just for prayer. Then, block out that time on your shared calendar.
- Start small. When you’re first getting started, keep your prayer times short and simple — maybe 5 to 10 minutes. Begin with a form of prayer that feels comfortable to both of you, such as silent prayer.
Methods for praying together
There are many effective ways to pray as a couple. Here are a couple to consider.
- Verbalize your prayers. Pray out loud together on a daily basis. Share your heart’s desires and needs with each other and with God. Practice what some call “vulnerable” prayer, in which you open yourselves to each other and to God.
- Pray silently together. Another method is to pray silently alongside each other, allowing each person to connect with God in their own individual way. You might choose to end the silent prayer time with a shared “Amen” or a few words about the insights you gained during that time.
Overcoming Challenges in Praying Together
Praying together can feel awkward at first. Here’s how to deal with some common challenges:
- Acknowledge the Awkwardness: It’s okay if it feels weird! Talk about those feelings with each other. Be honest about your expectations for prayer.
- Create a Safe Space: Prayer shouldn’t be a lecture. Avoid judging or criticizing your spouse during prayer. Focus on your own needs and desires, not on correcting them.
- Stay Consistent (But Be Kind to Yourselves): Life happens. You might miss a day (or a week!). Don’t sweat it. Just pick it up again. Consistency is key, but so is grace.
With open communication and a commitment to grace, you can build a strong prayer life together.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I start praying for my marriage?
Start by simply talking to God about your marriage. Be honest about your struggles, your hopes, and your desires for your relationship. There’s no right or wrong way to pray; speak from your heart. Focus on praying for qualities like love, patience, forgiveness, and understanding to grow within both you and your spouse. Pray for guidance in communication and conflict resolution. It can also be helpful to set aside specific times each day to focus on praying for your marriage, whether it’s in the morning before you start your day or in the evening before bed.
What does the Bible say about praying for your marriage?
The Bible doesn’t explicitly command “pray for your marriage,” but it offers principles that support the practice. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to bring every concern to God through prayer. Ephesians 5 speaks to the importance of love, respect, and submission within marriage, which aligns with praying for these qualities. 1 Peter 4:8 encourages fervent love, which prayer can cultivate. Ultimately, the Bible promotes seeking God’s guidance and wisdom in all areas of life, and marriage is no exception. Prayer is a powerful tool for strengthening your relationship with God and with your spouse.
Summary
Prayer is powerful. When you bring God into your marriage, you invite Him to transform your relationship, strengthen your bond, and foster unity with your spouse. Praying with your spouse is even more powerful, increasing the results you see in your marriage.
Make prayer a lifelong habit, a continuous conversation with God about your marriage. Prayer isn’t a one-time solution; it’s an ongoing process of communicating and connecting with God and with each other. As the Bible says, husbands and wives should pray for each other.
Remember, God is faithful, and He wants to bless your marriage through prayer. Trust in His provision, and find joy in your relationship. Don’t give in to despair, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. When you pray for your marriage, you are inviting God to work in your lives and to bring you closer together.