So many stories on marriage focus on the drama: the big fights, the near-divorces, the triumphant “comeback” after seemingly insurmountable challenges. We’re bombarded with narratives of couples who’ve weathered the storm and emerged stronger on the other side.
But what about the marriages that aren’t a rollercoaster? What about the quiet strength of a “boring” marriage — one built on consistent faith, unwavering commitment, and slow, steady spiritual growth?
This story explores the beauty and profound value of a faith-based, less dramatic marriage. It’s a call to recognize, support, and cultivate these often-overlooked relationships.
Redefining “Boring”: The Ideal Marriage Story
When we talk about marriages, we often focus on the dramatic – the breakups, the makeups, the scandalous affairs. But what about the marriages that are, well, “boring”?
And by “boring,” I don’t mean lacking in love or joy. I mean built on a foundation of consistent faith and unwavering commitment. A marriage that doesn’t grab headlines because it’s not marked by dramatic upheaval, but by quiet, steady growth.
One of my friends calls this living a life with “more joy and less scars,” and I think that perfectly encapsulates the beauty of a “boring” marriage.
The Power of Consistent Faith
At the heart of these strong, “boring” marriages is a shared faith, a commitment to spiritual growth, and a focus on becoming more like Jesus Christ. This shared faith provides a framework for navigating life’s inevitable challenges and strengthens the bond between husband and wife. It encourages reconciliation, forgiveness, and a constant striving to love each other as Christ loves the church.
Moving Beyond the “Comeback” Narrative
Our culture often glorifies the “comeback” marriage – the couple who faced infidelity, financial ruin, or some other major crisis and managed to pull through. While these stories can be inspiring, they shouldn’t be the only model presented. We need to celebrate the quiet strength and resilience of couples who consistently choose faith and commitment, who build a life together brick by brick, day by day, without the dramatic plot twists.
Cultivating a “Boring” Marriage: Practical Steps
If you’re looking to build a marriage that’s “boring” in the best sense of the word – stable, reliable, and deeply connected – here are some practical steps you can take.
Prioritizing Spiritual Growth
Nurturing your spiritual life, both individually and as a couple, can provide a strong foundation for your marriage. Consider:
- Individual Spiritual Practices: Make time for personal prayer, Bible study, and reflection.
- Shared Spiritual Practices: Engage in couple’s devotions, attend church together, and consider serving in a ministry as a couple.
Communication and Connection
Open and honest communication is essential for any healthy relationship. Focus on:
- Intentional Communication: Set aside time for regular, open, and honest conversations.
- Quality Time: Prioritize shared activities and experiences that allow you to connect on a deeper level.
Forgiveness and Reconciliation
No marriage is perfect, and disagreements are inevitable. The key is to handle conflict in a healthy way. Remember:
- The Importance of Forgiveness: Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and make the conscious choice to forgive.
- Seeking Reconciliation: Address conflicts constructively and seek resolution. Resources like re|engage (a marriage enrichment program) can provide helpful tools and guidance.
Supporting “Boring” Marriages: A Community Effort
It might sound funny, but supporting stable, “boring” marriages is actually really important. Positive reinforcement can have a huge impact on a couple, encouraging growth and strengthening their bond.
So, how can we support the “boring” marriages around us?
- Encourage them. A simple text, email, phone call, or even a quick visit to say “thank you for your marriage” can go a long way.
- Pray for them. Pray for their continued faithfulness to each other and to God.
Think about it: when we support one marriage, we’re not just helping that couple. We’re contributing to the overall health and stability of our entire community. Strong marriages create strong families, and strong families build a better world for everyone.
Wrapping Up
Maybe a “boring” marriage is actually something to aspire to. It’s a testament to the power of unwavering faith and a conscious choice to commit, day after day.
Perhaps we should all shift our perspective on marriage. Instead of chasing fireworks, we can focus on spiritual growth and supporting other couples. Positive reinforcement and encouragement for couples can foster positive change and growth in their relationships.
While a “boring” marriage might not make headlines, it can create a lasting legacy of love and faithfulness, one ordinary day at a time.