The Ultimate Showdown: Deciding Once and for All Who the Biggest Asshole in History Really Was

In the annals of history, there have been numerous individuals who have left a lasting impact, for better or for worse. Some have been revered for their contributions to society, while others have been reviled for their atrocities. But who truly deserves the title of the biggest asshole in history? In this article, we will explore some of the most infamous figures from the past and determine once and for all who reigns supreme in the realm of assholery.

The Criteria for Assholery

Before we delve into our list of contenders, it’s important to establish some criteria for what constitutes assholery. While the term itself is subjective and can vary depending on cultural and societal norms, we can generally define an asshole as someone who consistently displays malicious, self-serving, and unethical behavior with little regard for the well-being of others. With this definition in mind, let’s take a closer look at some of history’s most notorious assholes.

Genghis Khan

Genghis Khan, the founder of the Mongol Empire, is often portrayed as a ruthless conqueror who led his armies on a campaign of brutal conquest across Asia and Europe. Known for his scorched-earth tactics and merciless treatment of his enemies, Khan’s reign of terror left a trail of destruction in its wake. Despite his accomplishments as a military strategist and empire-builder, his ruthless pursuit of power and disregard for human life undoubtedly earn him a top spot on our list of assholes.

Adolf Hitler

Adolf Hitler, the leader of Nazi Germany during World War II, is perhaps one of the most reviled figures in history. Responsible for the Holocaust and the deaths of millions of innocent people, Hitler’s fanatical pursuit of racial purity and domination plunged the world into chaos and devastation. His brutal regime and genocidal policies exemplify the epitome of assholery, making him a strong contender for the title of the biggest asshole in history.

Joseph Stalin

Joseph Stalin, the Soviet dictator who ruled with an iron fist for nearly three decades, is another figure who is synonymous with tyranny and oppression. Responsible for the deaths of millions of his own citizens through forced labor camps, purges, and famines, Stalin’s reign of terror left a lasting scar on the Soviet Union and its people. His ruthless pursuit of power and willingness to eliminate anyone who stood in his way solidify his place as a true asshole of epic proportions.

Vlad the Impaler

Vlad the Impaler, the brutal ruler of Wallachia in the 15th century, is perhaps best known for his sadistic methods of torture and execution. Infamous for impaling his enemies on stakes and displaying their bodies as a warning to others, Vlad’s reputation for cruelty and bloodlust earned him the moniker "Dracula" and inspired the legend of the vampire. His gruesome reign of terror and disregard for human life make him a strong contender for the title of biggest asshole in history.

The Verdict

After careful consideration of the contenders and their respective reigns of terror, it is clear that each of these individuals has left a dark and indelible mark on history. While it is difficult to definitively crown one as the biggest asshole in history, it is safe to say that all of them have earned their place in infamy for their atrocities and disregard for human life.

In conclusion, the title of the biggest asshole in history is a hotly debated and contentious subject that will likely continue to be discussed for generations to come. Each of these individuals has left a lasting legacy of cruelty and oppression that serves as a sobering reminder of the darkest aspects of human nature. Whether it be Genghis Khan’s ruthless conquests, Adolf Hitler’s genocidal policies, Joseph Stalin’s reign of terror, or Vlad the Impaler’s sadistic methods of torture, the history books are filled with tales of individuals who have demonstrated the worst of what humanity has to offer. Ultimately, the true measure of an asshole lies not in the scale of their atrocities, but in the impact they have had on the lives of others and the legacy they leave behind.