Many people in recovery from addiction find comfort and strength through 12-Step programs. Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) offer a structured path to sobriety, often emphasizing the spiritual side of healing. These programs ask individuals to surrender to a higher power and to find a new way of life.
The Third Step in these programs is a big one. It’s about making a decision to turn your will and your life over to the care of God as you understand Him. This is often done through the Third Step Prayer.
The Third Step Prayer is a way to actively release your self-will and ask for guidance from that higher power. It’s a turning point in the 12-Step process, a moment of surrender and acceptance.
In this article, we’ll take a closer look at the Third Step Prayer. We’ll explore its meaning, where it comes from, and how you can practically use it in your own recovery journey.
What is the Third Step?
The Third Step is a pivotal point in the 12-step journey, and it’s where you make a conscious decision to change how you approach life. It’s often worded as:
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
Let’s unpack what that means.
In the context of recovery, this step involves acknowledging that your own willpower hasn’t been enough to overcome your addiction. You’re deciding to release your grip on control and instead place your trust in something larger than yourself. That “something” can be God, a spiritual force, the recovery group itself, or any other concept that resonates with you. The important thing is that it’s your understanding of a higher power, not someone else’s.
The Third Step represents a huge shift from self-reliance to reliance on a higher power. This surrender can bring a sense of relief, a feeling that you’re no longer alone in your struggles. It also opens you up to guidance and support that you might not have been receptive to before.
Think of it this way: Step One helps you see you can’t do it alone, and Step Two helps you believe there is something that can help. Step Three is where you decide to actively accept that help.
This step sets the stage for the deeper work of self-examination and amends-making that comes later in the 12-step program. It’s about creating a foundation of trust and openness that will support you as you move forward on your path to recovery.
Deconstructing the Third Step Prayer: A Line-by-Line Analysis
The Third Step Prayer is a cornerstone of many recovery programs. Let’s take a closer look at what each line means.
“Dear God, I offer myself to Thee”
This is where you’re humbly offering yourself, just as you are, to a higher power. It’s an act of saying, “I’m willing to change.” It’s deeply personal, and it’s about acknowledging that you can’t do it alone.
“To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt”
This part is about co-creation and allowing something bigger than yourself to guide your actions. You’re releasing control and trusting that this higher power will help you find your purpose.
“Relieve me of the bondage of self”
The “bondage of self” refers to the destructive patterns and behaviors that come with addiction. Self-centeredness can keep you trapped in those patterns, so this is a plea to be freed from that trap.
“That I may better do Thy will”
This is about aligning your actions with a greater purpose or a moral compass. It’s not about blindly following orders, but about striving for positive change and doing what’s right.
“Take away my difficulties”
Here, you’re asking for relief from the challenges and obstacles in your life. It doesn’t mean you’ll never have problems again, but it’s a request for the strength to overcome them.
“That victory over them may bear witness to those I would help”
This emphasizes the importance of sharing your experiences and supporting others in recovery. Peer support is a powerful tool, and your journey can inspire and help others.
“Of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always.”
This reiterates your belief in the influence of a higher power and your commitment to living by its principles. It’s an ongoing promise to stay on the right path.
The concept of a Higher Power: Personalization and Interpretation
The Third Step asks you to turn your will and your life over to the care of God as you understand Him. What does that mean, exactly?
Defining “Higher Power”
The concept of a Higher Power is intentionally open to interpretation. For some, it’s the God of their childhood. For others, it’s nature, the universe, a supportive community, or even the collective wisdom of the group. It can be anything that feels bigger than yourself and capable of providing guidance and support.
It’s important to choose a Higher Power that aligns with your own beliefs and values. Don’t feel pressured to adopt someone else’s definition. This is a personal journey, and your understanding of a Higher Power should feel authentic and meaningful to you.
Addressing Religious Concerns
The 12-Step Program uses language that can feel religious, and that can be a stumbling block for some people. It’s important to remember that while the program has spiritual elements, it’s not inherently religious.
There’s a difference between religion, which is often an organized system of beliefs and practices, and spirituality, which is a more personal connection to something larger than yourself. The Third Step is about cultivating that personal connection, whatever form it takes for you.
Self-Will vs. God’s Will: A Key Dichotomy
The third step of the 12-step program invites us to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God. This step often involves untangling the difference between self-will and God’s will.
Understanding Self-Will in Addiction
Self-will, in the context of addiction, often shows up as the relentless pursuit of immediate pleasure, a denial of the consequences of one’s actions, and a resistance to any kind of help or intervention.
Embracing God’s Will as a Path to Recovery
Surrendering to a Higher Power can be a powerful way to break free from self-destructive patterns. Aligning yourself with God’s will, or the will of your Higher Power, means making decisions that reflect your core values and support your long-term well-being. It’s about choosing a path that leads to healing and growth, even when it’s difficult.
Practical tips for working the Third Step
The Third Step is a commitment to turn your will and your life over to the care of God, as you understand God. But how do you actually do that?
Here are some pointers:
Study and reflection
Take some time to really think about the meaning of the Third Step and what it means for you. Journaling can be a useful tool here. You might want to explore your personal beliefs about surrender and trust.
Seeking guidance and support
Go to AA or NA meetings and listen to how others in recovery have worked this step. Sharing your own experiences can be helpful too. Talk with your sponsor or a trusted mentor to get some personalized guidance and support.
Defining your Higher Power
What does “Higher Power” mean to you? It’s important to define this clearly and personally. Don’t worry if your definition changes over time; your understanding will deepen as you go along.
Reciting the Third Step Prayer
The Third Step Prayer can serve as a daily reminder of your commitment to surrender. You can use the prayer as a jumping-off point for talking to your Higher Power in your own words.
Here’s the prayer, as it appears in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions:
God, I offer myself to Thee – to build and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I always do Thy will!
To Conclude
The Third Step Prayer is a vital part of the 12-Step recovery process. Saying this prayer and truly accepting its message can be a turning point, as you surrender your will and trust in a Higher Power to guide you toward healing and wholeness.
Remember that recovery isn’t a one-time event, but a lifelong journey. Continue to work the Steps, reach out for support from your sponsor or support group, and stay committed to your sobriety, even when it’s challenging.
If you’re struggling with addiction, please know that recovery is possible. You don’t have to face this alone. There are people who care about you and want to help you find your way to a brighter future. Take the Third Step, say the prayer, and open yourself up to the possibility of a new life, free from the chains of addiction.